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The Dork Legacy 7.4


Warnings: inappropriate jokes about postpartum depression, and some swearing. Lots of angry capslock.

Previously, on The Dork Legacy:

[ 1.0 | 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 | 1.4 | 1.5 ]

[ 2.0 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 2.4 | 2.5 | 2.6 | 2.7 ]

[ 3.0 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 3.6 ]

[ 4.0 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 4.4 | 4.5 | 4.6 | 4.7 ]

[ 5.0 | 5.1 | 5.2 | 5.3 | 5.4 | 5.5 | 5.6 | 5.7 ]

[ 6.0 | 6.1 | 6.2 | 6.3 (Guest Update) | 6.4 | 6.5 | 6.6 | 6.7 ]

[ 7.0 | 7.1 | 7.2 | 7.3 ]





This update begins with the ever-beautiful Quill Jordan, expressing his love of the Dork family.


Strangely, it seems Sarina does not appreciate his views, and attempts to change his opinion in a calm and mature fashion.


What, you two haven't seen old people fisticuffs before?


Coworker: This display is appalling.


After about five minutes, I got bored of watching the fight and decided to check in on Dorian the Serious Toddler. who proceeded to conquer me with adorable.


See? You're all ready lining up to pay him tribute, aren't you?


After, and I'm being totally serious, TEN REAL LIFE MINUTES OF FIGHTING, I hear the sound of ass being kicked.


I'm sorry, Sarina, dear, but Quill has been kicking the asses of old ladies since he was just a little punk in a leather jacket. You just haven't had the same experience he has!


No shit you're tired. You've been fighting for like the past five hours or something.
Q: Quill, I forget, is it three turns to the left, and then one sideways?


Q: Quill, are you listening to me?
Quill: Zzzz....


Q: HAHAHA YOU FELL ASLEEP YOU WEAK CONSTITUTIONED TRANSVESTITE. X'D


Did you guys think I was done with babies? You think that five or whatever babies is ENOUGH for me? WRONG. save me from myself


I don't even remember if I missed a pop here or if she's just a giant.


Goddamn dude, that was fast. He's not even a toddler yet!


Awww, adorable! Check the teeny elf ears! *squee* Spam (albeit rather short, I deleted like 10 images here, lol) time:




So cute! So. Cute.


Dorian is a whiner, though. D:


Gizka: Did...was someone else playing with my puzzle?
Q: *whistles innocently*


Awww. Think about how much cuter this picture would be if Sarina was clothed! XD


Here is photographic evidence that I'm an idiot.


Gizka: Hey! This one looks like me!

This one's Tom.


This one is Mina (omg a girl).


This is Henry...


And this is Edward. At this point I begin to suspect that I forgot to make Trenton's eyes genetic.


NO. PLEASE NO.

Oh, and babies you met last time? Apparently there were only two, but I couldn't keep track of which was which. They were Rodney, and...uh...another one. IDEK GUYS. IDEK ANYMORE.


Q: Didn't I do this last generation?


NOT THIS TIME.



ROFL. OMG, I forgot how hilarious work outfits are. XD


Gizka, the moment babies entered the picture, has gone into full Mommy Mode. She doesn't seem to care that she has two hot bi guys waiting at her beck and call. IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA USE THEM, LET ME HAVE THEM.


Can't deny that motherhood suits her, though.


Dieter: This miniature furless creature has gotten a hold of me. Projected future: grim.


Dieter: Oh...hey...don't you want to cuddle me some more?


Full. Mommy. Mode.


So...a week after that last screenshot, I decided to turn Sarina into a cat.



With hilarious results. Some of you may have seen the video I posted of it. If not, let's review:









And then this happened:


MY FIRST TOTALLY 100% NATURAL ABDUCTION. NOT EVEN WITH THE HIGHERODDS HACK. AND IT HAS TO BE WHEN THERE'S ALL READY 43267483232 BABIES.


I set Sarina back to a person. Everything seemed to be back to normal.


...Or WAS IT?


Sarina: Come on, baby. Let's put you to bed.


...


Sarina: Here you go!



XD After a save and a restart, however, she was back to normal.


YES. MY EXTREME CHILD NEGLECT PAYS OFF!



These two are still inseparable. I'm watching you guys.


Ironically, GlaDos contributes to about 80% of my sanity while playing this family. She gets bottles...


Changes diapers, and -

Oh, what's that noise?


It sounds like a very ~artistic~ screenshot to me!


VARYING DEGRESS OF WANT.


YOU EATED MY COOKIE?!

And now, a game! Guess How Many Nice Points Everyone Has:





Clive: OH my GOD, that's HOT! DO IT AGAIN!

O.o


Trenton Must Not Be Late For Bed.


April: Alana! I think...it's time! :)

WIPE THAT STUPID SMILE OFF OF YOUR FACE.


April: OH JESUS GOD MY REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS!

That's better.


This time? I learned from my mistakes. No, I am *NOT* hitting random, TYVM.


OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME.

YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS.

THIS MUST BE A LIE.

NEITHER OF YOU IS A GODDAMN FAMILY SIM. NO ONE HAS MADE CHEESECAKE. WTFFFFFFFFFFFF.


Sigh. This is...fuck, idek. Moriarty, I think.


Moriarty: *jumps on the goddamn bandwagon*


That looks like the face of a mother who's gonna end up drowning her kids. D:


April: Dear sister. I don't want this. You take it.


Gizka: But...I've got like seventeen of my own...


Gizka: Here. Stay right here, baby. I've got important business to attend to.


FOR THE LAST TIME, GIZKA, MAKING THE BED < BABIES.


And this is Harker! Uh, version one. You'll see what I mean later.


Q is a doting kind of great-grandmother. Great-great? I don't remember.


FOR THE LAST TIME, NO.

Sarina: But we're all ready halfway there!

NO.


This may be the only picture you see of Alana with a child. She's ~focused on her career~. aka, she hates kids.


Because you guys haven't seen enough of people's founders in the Potts legacy, here's one! This gorgeous lady was made by choose for the third founder challenge. She's one of my favourites!





Family spam! Don't crack, April. You've got plenty of support. You can do it.


Every five years, I fulfill one of GlaDos's wants. She wanted to ~make a wish~.


THANK YOU GENIE REPLACEMENT MAKER.


GlaDos: What I really want is the power to cause death...but this will do. I like cheating, and death, therefore it's good for me.


Apparently Clive's got a fetish. Or he wants Trenton out of the picture so he can focus on Q, the love of his life.


Townie: Are you QUITE FINISHED?
Lister: HEY I'M HOME WHO MISSED ME?


Well, that's one less I'm-home dance I have to watch.


Sarina works it. She's freaking intense on this thing. D:


Nemo: Dis cow is mah fwend. Thanku fo be mah fwend!


Nemo: Hah, dat's silly! Humans don't make fwends wif cows! Cows ah animows. An' anyway dats not even a weaw cow. It's fake! It can't have feewings! I'm good at pwetending!

...moving on.



Those are some pretty freaking polar opposites.


I just like that they match. XD


April: Can't I just drown one or two of them? I'll keep the quiet ones!

Are you taking your postpartum depression meds?

April: I HAVEN'T HAD TIME. I HAVE TEN BABIES.


It'll all be over soon, April, it's okay.


Oh right. Bun in the oven. I forgot. D:


DON'T I LOOK LIKE I WISH FOR AN ORDERLY HOUSEHOLD?!


I MEAN LOOK AT THIS SHIT.


Get used to this. We've got about six or seven more to go before I fix the problem (ie, move a bunch of people out).


Why, no, I don't save as often as I should, why do you ask?


Here's Harker again, now with 100% more baby oil! Moriarty looks the same.


LOOK WHO'S BACK. BACK AGAIN.


INTENSE DOG IS BACK. TELL A FRIEND.

(ps oh god my cat's breath is so bad save me i want to dieeeeeee)


Dieter: :P


CUTE. Also, ignore the MASSIVE BARS OF SIMS.


Intense Dog: Grrrr! Why didn't you greet me?!
Dieter: I have priorities you know! Don't be so clingy!


You're trembling in your boots, y/n?


FALSE ALARM IT'S HAPPY FLOWER TIME.


Trenton: OMG, what is she WEARING?
Clive: I really hope no one can see how aroused I am right now


Trenton: Damn, Q, you know you're pretty fine for an old lady!

SHE. KNOWS.


Yeah, stick to the toddlers, family sim.


GlaDos: THIS HOUSE IS UNFAIR. I AM OVERWORKED.


GlaDos: I HAVE NOT EVEN HAD THE CHANCE TO PERFORM PROPER SET UP FOR TESTING THE PUPAE.


GlaDos: Override: Aperture Science Happiness Circuit Engage! I am pleased with my life!


Clive: You know what sounds good right now? A hot, muscley chef. Mmm...


Colour coordination: ur doin it rite.


I made him do this. Clive and Alana are similar in that they both could care less about kids.


Enjoy the grandkids while you can, honey. You and Lister are going to be getting your own place, soon.


my joy. can you feel it.


YES LET'S JUST PUT THAT LTW ON HOLD TO HAVE MORE BABIES.




... Show off.


Trenton: Wow, Q, you're pretty sharp to remember that whole thing! It must have been DECADES since you went to school!


Q: Yeah well college was definitely a high point for me.


Q: Wait, are you implying that I'm old, young man?

Q, seriously, I think you're in your hundreds by now.


Well, that's all for this update. Hope you guys enjoyed. I haven't had as much energy to write/think of teh funneyz lately, on account of playing two legacies, one of which has, HAVE I MENTIONED, TEN CHILDREN? OGEMRIGTOERTE WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME WHYYYYY.

;-; I don't want your pity. Throw rocks at me, it's my own goddamn fault. Anyway, I would apologise for not being super funny, but I don't want to piss off mirablu, so instead I shall say LAUGH OR DIE. IDC IF IT'S NOT FUNNY, IF THERE ISN'T AN INTERNET LAUGHTER ABBREVIATION IN YOUR REPLY GLADOS WILL PUT A BLACK MARK ON YOUR RECORD.

I shall endeavour to post a Potts update when I get home from work. After I read simsecret, of course. XD CAN'T MISS MY STORIES.

worktiemnaobai.

Comments

( 60 comments — Leave a comment )
Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>
beachwee
Feb. 6th, 2009 10:12 pm (UTC)
haha I love gizka, and woah babies D: great update though :D
katu_sims
Feb. 8th, 2009 05:35 am (UTC)
Yeah. Babies. ;-; Yeah. Gizka makes things better, though.

And thank you! ^_^
(Deleted comment)
katu_sims
Feb. 8th, 2009 05:36 am (UTC)
Oh, I was quite in love with Lister as a toddler. That little wide face...those cute alien eyes! But Dorian has the torch now. XD Nemo is doing his best to wrest it from him.

And Mina ends up being pretty freaking cute too.

Thank you!
stakeit_uk
Feb. 6th, 2009 10:27 pm (UTC)
That looks like the face of a mother who's gonna end up drowning her kids.
OMG! SO SCANDALOUS, BUT SOO FUNNY! AHHAHAHAH!

GlaDos: What I really want is the power to cause death...but this will do. I like cheating, and death, therefore it's good for me.
Classic GladOS!

Also, ignore the MASSIVE BARS OF SIMS.
WOAH. That's a really insane amount...with more on the way! :O



katu_sims
Feb. 8th, 2009 05:37 am (UTC)
Hey, I did say inappropriate jokes ahead in the warnings! XD You can't sue me!

Yes! Not too many more on the way, though. Almost done! Any day now! XD

Glad you liked it. <3
lauriethemuppet
Feb. 6th, 2009 10:29 pm (UTC)
XD Oh the babies you are such a masochist lol
katu_sims
Feb. 8th, 2009 05:38 am (UTC)
;-; I'm a wussy masochist though.

I LIKE IT WHEN MY GAME DOESN'T CRASH. I'M SORRY OPTIMUS. I WAS A FOOL. I'LL NEVER OVERCLOCK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN.
inkspottedtea
Feb. 6th, 2009 10:30 pm (UTC)
KATU. I think Pescado recently engineered something that could quite possibly help the Dork's baby problem.







Just sayin'
katu_sims
Feb. 8th, 2009 05:39 am (UTC)
Don't think I didn't download think about that! The downside is that I don't want to kill my potential heir. But I cheated to age up the ones who were ineligible anyway, and moved them out.
(no subject) - inkspottedtea - Feb. 8th, 2009 08:16 am (UTC) - Expand
sea_serpent
Feb. 6th, 2009 10:35 pm (UTC)
OH DEAR GOD DDDX Ten? TEN?! I shed tears just from thinking about it! Coupled with all the adults, how many sims do you have in that house?

your angst brings me lulz though *shot*

Is Q gonna stick around for the rest of the legacy? :P It really does seem like she's been alive since forever.
katu_sims
Feb. 8th, 2009 05:40 am (UTC)
Um, I think the census last time was 22 sims, including pets? But I could be wrong about that. My counting isn't so good. XD

Well, at least my angst is good for something. I just...I JUST WONDER WHY. WHY WOULD I DO THIS TO MYSELF. VOLUNTARILY. WTF IS WRONG WITH MEEEEEEEE.

I'm...considering it. :P Let me just say the cowplant milk is influencing my decision.
brilliantcat
Feb. 6th, 2009 10:56 pm (UTC)
That is... A LOT OF KIDS OMG. Even Lemon wasn't crazy enough to have that many AT ONCE.

I do not blame Clive one bit for horning after Q's hot old lady ass. Srsly.

And so GlaDos doesn't try to feed me cake or something: LOLOLOLOL ROFLCOPTER LMFAO XD
katu_sims
Feb. 8th, 2009 05:42 am (UTC)
Yeah. ;-; I know, I'm sorry. Seriously, there are so many kids in the Dork household that I feel compelled to apologise for it.

Haha, Clive and Q have some interesting issues to work out. Not to give anything away...

GlaDos probably would have let the OMG pass, however, the ROFLCOPTER gains you immunity for the next round. XD
writinglover212
Feb. 6th, 2009 11:01 pm (UTC)
Damn um family tree? It must be hard to keep track of everyone.
Oh and what was that thing that you used to make sarina into a cat?
katu_sims
Feb. 8th, 2009 05:43 am (UTC)
Yeah. I tried making one, once. I gave that up pretty quick. >.> It is hard to keep track of everyone, but as long as I can get names straight, I don't worry too much about who is whose grandmother/sister/boyfriend.

And that is a program called SimPE. It's a really useful program if you know how to use it. It's really dangerous if you don't, though.
ladyamarra
Feb. 6th, 2009 11:01 pm (UTC)
You know, this insanity of a lot has just inspired me to install all my sims add ons again and start a own family. *g* I might just blame you for that, you and your 123124234 babys here.

By the way, I love your sims characters already. *goes off to look up past generations* heh.
katu_sims
Feb. 8th, 2009 05:44 am (UTC)
That's awesome! You can go ahead and blame me, because I fully support and endorse that decision. XD If you ever post pictures, you should let me see!

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. ^_^;;
kharmakick
Feb. 6th, 2009 11:08 pm (UTC)
So many babies; I'm incredibly jealous!
Geneticsgeneticsgeneticsss.
And gosh, who doesn't like Q?
katu_sims
Feb. 8th, 2009 05:45 am (UTC)
You're jealous?

Really?

...Would you like some of them? XD

Seriously, though, YES genetics! :D I eagerly anticipate seeing them all grown up.

Uh. That guy over there. *points*

8D Thanks for reading!
nentarisims
Feb. 7th, 2009 12:00 am (UTC)
The want for 10 babies/20 grandchildren has got to be one of the most annoying things about Family Sims. *groans*

Dieter: :P
:D
katu_sims
Feb. 8th, 2009 05:46 am (UTC)
Wholeheartedly agreed. Especially because a part of me always wants to try for it. D:

Heehee, I love Dieter. Thanks for reading!
jessiewings
Feb. 7th, 2009 12:12 am (UTC)
Yay, Dork update! XD

I would go absolutely insane if my Sims had that many babies. Hence, no Trips & Quads hack for me! XD But you sound like you're barely holding it together yourself, LMAO.

(You see that? You see that Internet laughter abbreviation? That better mean I'm immune from death, OK.)

Every five years, I fulfill one of GlaDos's wants.
That's very generous of you! :) I approve.

Dieter is so cuuuuute! Seriously, adorable. <3

I enjoyed readinggggggggggg and this update was great! :D (Now I'm doubly saved from death, right? :D)
katu_sims
Feb. 8th, 2009 05:49 am (UTC)
I manage. Somehow. I sense that a part of me loves the chaos. >.> A very stupid part of me, lol. But I do love the Trips and Quads hack. It is a must-have for me. I've even been considering switching to the random-only version. hahaha. >.>

GlaDos accepts your LMAO, and grants you immunity.

That's very generous of you! :) I approve.
Isn't it? I'm quite the philanthropist.

Yay! I'm glad you enjoyed, and thank you for reading!
hjsnapepm
Feb. 7th, 2009 01:33 am (UTC)
OMG. Kitty. OMG. KITTY. LOLOLOLOL.
katu_sims
Feb. 8th, 2009 05:51 am (UTC)
This is like my favourite comment on this entry so far. XD
wiltora
Feb. 7th, 2009 01:46 am (UTC)
lol

There, no sending GlaDos to hunt me in my sleep :p Anyway it's pretty funny, in the insane level of the meter, that is, which is common in the Dorks so all is fine XDD I love how many children you have now there, you should totally let them get the 20 grandchildren want XD

Yup I enjoy ur suffering 8D
katu_sims
Feb. 8th, 2009 05:52 am (UTC)
Good you got that out of the way. I'll take your name off of the list. XD

Hahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahaha
NO. NO 20 GRANDCHILDREN. I'm okay with my suffering being funny, BUT NO. NO NO NO.

NO.

XD Thank you, btw! <3
(no subject) - wiltora - Feb. 8th, 2009 01:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
simoire
Feb. 7th, 2009 04:59 am (UTC)
SO. MANY. KIDS. WOW. You've got to have nerves of steel, 'cause I would've reloaded the game and pretended nothing happened. >_>

And I was just wondering why your game hasn't exploded yet when I got to that screencap of it doing just that. lol
katu_sims
Feb. 8th, 2009 05:53 am (UTC)
Well, as you mentioned, I no longer have the need to reload the game as though nothing happened...it's quite happy to do that for me! XD lol.

But thank you! I appreciate the moral support! lol.
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